A digital nomads guide for screening travel buddies

Mukund Iyengar
Gypsy

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Make the most of your upcoming adventure by traveling with awesome people

Photo by Katie Drazdauskaite on Unsplash

Solo travel can be fun. But it’s not for everyone. For most of us, there is comfort in groups.

You want to find amazing people to travel with. The right kind of company will help you create lifelong memories. The wrong kind will ruin it.

I’ve read a ton of posts on this subject. Most insist on scratching the surface. But I can attest from experience that you want to dig deeper in a short time. Here is a personal how-to guide.

Take a test drive

You never really know someone by reading profiles or checking out their social media. Most of that stuff is make believe anyway.

Spend some concentrated time together. Avoid going to loud, flashy or busy places that distract easily. Try to spend a weekend or more as a group.

Most people wear a ‘mask’ — you know, a self that we want others to see. We all do. But the real depth of beauty is behind the mask.

You should look for: patience, integrity, maturity, vulnerability, and open-mindedness. These are the traits that truly matter. Never compromise.

How they treat others

“Its nice to be important, but its more important to be nice”

It is easy to be extra nice to people who hold some power over you. People almost always reveal themselves in the way they treat others who they have nothing to gain from.

If you are going to a foreign land, you are better off being with others who tend to treat strangers with an open arm.

Nothing will ruin your trip quicker than hanging out with people who are judgmental about others, or treat people poorly. You can pick up on these traits pretty quickly — pay attention to how they react to someone else’s flaws or shortcomings. Or, if you’re brave, try to divulge some of your own.

There is always an element of ‘danger’ when you go to a different nation. Being part of a group will help you overcome it. But you do not want a group that treats the foreigners with hostility.

Rigid schedules or go-with-the-flow

You are traveling because you want to soak in a foreign culture. Making trips in and around your stay will be a routine thing.

When in a group, it’s best to find buddies that vibe with your style. Do you like having sharp, rigid plans when making excursions? Or do you like to wing it and just go-with-the-flow, sometimes wandering aimlessly and spontaneously?

Or it could be something in between. There is no right or wrong here, only what is right for you. Talk about this upfront — this one thing can become a recurrent theme for constant arguments.

Issue-free relationships

You will be spending a lot of time with your travel buddies. Perhaps more than with your current friends, co-workers or someone you are in a relationship with (assuming they are not traveling with you).

Deep rooted grudges and resentments always come out strongly when we travel for extended periods of time. Create an environment up front where people are free to share their emotional baggage.

Do not judge. On the contrary, welcome it before the trip. We all get busy hiding our flaws. But it is only when we bare them open that true bonding ever happens.

Money and responsibilities

This is more than being roommates with someone. When you are in a foreign land, where everything is pretty much different, you want someone responsible.

Be clear about responsibilities and money. This will affect your travel. Upscale dining or local street food? Do we pick the 6 hour luxury cruise or the 2 hour ride on a makeshift boat?

Again, there is no right or wrong but you do want group consensus on these kinds of tastes.

Good conversationalists

You will be doing a lot of talking. The likes you have not imagined before with any group of friends or co-workers in the past.

You really want to be with people who know how to listen. I know this is totally counter-intuitive — don’t you want someone who can talk for great conversations to happen? Yes, but being able to listen is far more important.

You do not want to be with this one person who takes over every conversation. An endlessly one way street which is about themselves or their stories. It gets boring. Listening is sexy. It creates an environment for real conversations.

Sweat the small stuff: hygiene, diet, and lifestyle

There is adventure and then there is adventure bordering on breaking the law. They are both exciting. What’s your flavor?

Again, when you spend time with someone long enough on a shared journey, you want to sweat the small stuff.

Can you trust them to get you food if you have a busy day? Do you think they are conscious about what they put inside them?

And what about fitness, mindfulness and emotional maturity? Do you think they are compatible with you? Trust me, these things will loom larger than you think.

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